Curse

Mr Wolfmaster · Sep 28, 2005, 11:26 PM // 23:26

I'd like some thoughts on this but I just did it for fun.

I'll prolly make more and maybe revise this portion, but I'd like to see what some of you guys think. It's kinda short but I think its cool. Hope you enjoy!

Our story begins with Mario Wolfmaster, a devout monk in the order of The New Dawn. The New Dawn was composed of people who opposed the government, planned to overthrow it and establish new ways. Their ideals were no secret, but they were sneaky in their ways and the law had not yet caught up to them. Then one day, during one of his morning walks along the beach of divinity coast with his fellow monks, everything changed.

"It sure is a nice sunny day isn't it Mario?" Brother Tropeious asked.
"Yes, I suppose it is."
"Mario, you seem distracted this morning."
"Hmm? I'm sorry Brother Tropeious I wasn't paying attention."
"Yes I noticed. What is so important that it takes your mind away from our time together?"
"I have a strange feeling, although I'm not sure if it's divine or if it's merely intuition."
'You must stay focused on our prayer walk Mario, despite this feeling you have."
"I know I must but I can't help it. This feeling keeps nagging me every time I try to focus on something else."
"Perhaps I can help. What is this feeling of yours?"
"I feel like something bad is going to happen."
"I see. Well we must not let strange feelings to get in the way of what's really important. You don't know for sure that something bad is going to happen."
"I know but I--" Suddenly a group of White Mantle jumped from behind a large rock.
"By the gods! What business do you have with us?" Brother Billin asked.
"You and you're group of rebels have gone far enough! We will end you here." One of the White Mantle said.
"On what charge?" Mario yelled.
"Sometimes the blade of justice needs no law. Attack!" The White Mantle moved forward and began to slaughter Mario's brethren. Mario stepped back in fear, trying to heal his companions. But he could not heal them fast enough and they fell at the blade of the White Mantle. Soon Mario was the only one left and he started to run for his life.
"Chase after him! I want no one alive. If anyone hears we attacked without the code of the law it will be our heads!" The white mantle started to chase Mario. Their iron boots slammed the soft sand like a hammer on an anvil. Mario was not able to keep up his pace, and he soon fell from exhaustion. A White Mantle zealot walked up to his body.
"Now rebel, time to die." But just as the zealot raised his sword, an arrow struck true into his heart. He instantly fell dead. The other white mantle were shocked and panicked as they ran for their lives. Mario stood up, wondering were the shot had come from. He looked around franticly wondering if he was the next target. He got on his knees and started to beg.
"Please whoever you are spare me!"
"Do not worry Mario." A man stepped out of the bushes.
"You know my name, but I'm afraid I do not recognize your face."
"I am Falcor Parigan, and I need your help."

Ok here's some new stuff for today. I also revised the prevoius portion a little.

"My help? What can I, a humble monk, do for you?"
"I will tell you, but you must follow me somewhere safe. If those White Mantle come back it will be both our heads."
"Wait, my step brother and others were back at the house we use for our meetings. If my group was attacked they may very well be in trouble!"
"I saw the house along my way here and it was already under attack by the White Mantle. But don't worry, I sent my trusted bodyguard to help your friends escape. There's nothing more we can do but hope they made it out alive."
"Alright then, lead the way." Falcor led Mario to a rocky hill, which was one of the few ways to get up the large cliff that shadowed the beach. After they reached the top, he and Mario ran into a nearby forest. Although the forest wasn't very big, it was enough to conceal a house or two deep inside. Mario kept constantly stumbling on the uneven terrain.
"You're not very acquainted with the woods are you Sir Wolfmaster?"
"Please call me Mario. And no I'm not very acquainted as you say. I'm used to quiet walks on a soft beach. Not these rough walks running from the murderous Mantle."
"Don't worry, the Mantle won't find us here." Falcor seemed to go in random directions which bothered Mario.
"Do you know where you're going Falcor? You seem to have no method of where you are going."
"It's a small forest Mario, and I'm a skilled ranger. I've learned every tree and every large rock of this forest top to bottom."
"But how can I know you aren’t leading me into a trap?"
"What trap would I lead you into? You said it yourself; you're just a humble monk. Besides I saved you from the Mantle did I not?"
"Yes, I suppose you did. Forgive me of my reluctance but all I've ever known was in The New Dawn. I have been working for a long time to plant the seeds that would lead to a new government. And now I fear my work is in vain."
"Do not trouble yourself; you will get your chance to strike at the heels of the Mantle."
"Will I? What are you talking about?"
"I'll tell you when we get to the cabin."
"When will that be?"
"Right about now." Falcor pushed back some bushes to reveal a cabin amongst a small clearing in the woods. At the cabin door stood a large man, who spoke to Falcor."
"Ah Falcor! I'm glad you made it back alive!"
"Did you ever have any doubt I would?"
"I guess not haha! Who is this fellow you have brought with you?"
"Go ahead and introduce yourself Mario." Mario moved forward and reached out a hand, to which the large man grabbed and shook.
"My name is Mario Wolfmaster, I'm, or at least I was, a monk in the order of The New Dawn."
"Nice to meet you Mario. My name is Ocea Soff. I'm Falcor's bodyguard." Mario released his hand from Ocea's.
"Are you the one Falcor said he sent to save the rest of my order?"
"Yes, but I'm afraid I was only able to save two of your friends. The Mantle had the others killed." Mario bowed his head for a second in a silent prayer, and then he lifted his head and asked.
"May I see my friends who survived?"
"Sure come on in." Ocea opened the door and walked inside. Mario followed close behind. As Mario walked through the door he saw his step brother Kyramir Starcaller sitting on a chair.
"Kyramir!" Mario yelled.
"Mario my brother!" Kyramir stood up and hugged Mario. "I'm so glad you made it out alive! I was worried those coward Mantle had killed all of you in cold blood!"
"They killed all of my fellow monks, but Falcor saved me from death. It's good to see you're alive brother; but Ocea told me that there were two who survived the attack you encountered, who is the other one?"
"That would be me good friend." Mario turned around and saw his best friend Lucas Van Kaylor standing next to the fireplace.
"Lucas! Ah praise be to Dwayna that you're alive!"
"You know me Mario; I'm very hard to kill, as is my pet."
"Ah, yes I am thankful for that."
"Ahem." Falcor said. "I'm sorry to ruin this reunion but if we could get on to business I'm sure you'd all like to know why I brought you here. Ocea how was the hunt?"
"Poor, but I still killed a few birds we can eat."
"Good. Set the table and we will get started."

Thats all for now. Hope you like.

Storm Crow · Sep 28, 2005, 11:50 PM // 23:50

pretty good for a greenhorn to this kind of thing.

note that my approval is hard to get, take this work as an accoplishment

ty3c · Sep 29, 2005, 01:54 AM // 01:54

yo dudes wanna see all the stuff ive wrote go to fictionpress.com and search for snick mcnicket 113 written works check em out

none aobut guild wars yet tho.

still good

Storm Crow · Sep 29, 2005, 03:10 AM // 03:10

the way you talk, I dont want to read your 'works'

ty3c · Sep 29, 2005, 03:12 AM // 03:12

dude chill out

i said works becuase it sounds good

aside from that

they are written and sometimes it was like work becuase sometimes it takes a while so dont lose your hat dude chill out i wrote some good storys please enjoy them.

Alone) · Sep 29, 2005, 04:22 AM // 04:22

o.o maybe i'm too tired to understand what you said.. got lost when you said dude again

ty3c · Sep 29, 2005, 06:02 AM // 06:02

ugh just check some of my writing stuff out

and stop with all this crap.

Mr Wolfmaster · Sep 29, 2005, 07:10 PM // 19:10

OK this has strayed away from my story quickly

...But anyway I have put up a little bit more of it so I hope you enjoy

ty3c · Sep 30, 2005, 01:45 AM // 01:45

btw wolfmaster

nice first draft of written work

i deem this great

keep writing